.::hidup sendiri::.

Assalamualaikum semua..tajuk arini bukan cam cerita2 yang lepas..asyik mood sedih je kan..'hidup sendiri' ni bukan maksud nye sy ni keseorangan or kesepian..haha..macam desperate lak bunyi nye..

maksud nye kat sini,I was about to step into a new phase of my life further.. this coming Tuesday(3rd May 2011),saya akan start kerja kat 1 software company in Kelana Jaya.even tho this isn't my first experience working,but yet this would be much different as this is not temporary as before and I got into this job on my own effort.ingat lagi masa hari nk g interview tu,sesat sampai ke Puchong pergi nya..haha..nasib baik adik Ain teman.kalau x,mmg da lama benti kete tepi jalan,nanges dulu baru sambung jalan balik..muahahaha~

at first,ingat x dapat bcoz gaji basic yang I mintak tu is a bit high for the post.so,I accepted the offer to teach a standard 3 students in Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Sultan Ismail Satu(1)..the offer goes for 20days with RM50 a day.that would be covered by PIBG of the school.unfortunately, I got a call on the 4th day of teaching asking me to come on the next Tuesday..payah gak nak decide.in the end, I decided to quit and go to Kelana Jaya..berat hati nak tinggalkan diorang..they had given so much fun and well-memories..just sempat capture beberapa pictures aje ngan they all..hope they will grow beautiful and wonderfully..alasan lainnye,boleh ke sy berjauhan dgn parents tercinta n 'hidup sendiri'??

hmmm...berbalik pada cerita yang awal tadi..dah nak gi sangat kat sana,mesti kena ada tempat tinggal kan..so,first time la sy bukak mudah.my..it's quite helpful.walaupun takes time nk cari sbb banyak sgt ads yang 2years ago pun ada lagi..but still,I was so thankful to the website.masa call tu pun,orang yang angkat tu mcm ramah n ok la.happy la kan kalu dapat housemate yang baik..ye dak??i hope so..ameen..rumah ni walking-distance je dgn office..even tho kne kongsi beramai2,tp ok kot sbb nk jimat punya pasal..kata nak survive sendiri..so,I will try my best to be good and well-behave..ala,lagipun umah abg dekat sgt ngan Kelana Jaya tu..no worries at all..anytime I could give him a call or just drop to his house..main ngan Zarif...yeay!!!!!!

ops,nak tau x berapa rental amount utk umah sewa yg sy dapat ni?haha..tgk cni baik2 eh..RM100/month sahaja..and I duduk kat condo tau..best kan..thanks Allah for His bless and best-known..

ok lah..barang xkemas lagi..malam sok da nak naik bas..kenapa malam??sempat ke nak gi kerja pagi2 Selasa tu??hish..sebab pagi2 sok sy nak g klinik dulu..check perut..selalu sgt experience abdominal-colic pain kan..just to rule out the possible factors.mencegah lebih baik daripada mengubati..ye dak??pastu nak g jumpa guru besar lagi.last week dia g China..cam xsopan pulak kalau benti kije xjumpa dia dulu..walaupun dah call..macam kita masuk rumah orang la.kne beri salam mintak izin nak masuk..and kalau da nak balik pun,kena la beradab juga..

so u all..sila doakan kesejahteraan saya and semoga sy selamat ye..mari kita baca doa ni sesama..bak kata umi terchenta,doa ni baik utk diamalkan and bagus juga dibaca lepas solat Dhuha.iaitu-

"Ya Allah ya tuhan ku.Tuhan yang maha Pengasih dan maha Mengetahui..

jika rezeki ku itu berada di langit,Kau turunkan lah..

jika ia berada di bumi,keluarkan lah.

jika ia jauh dariku,Kau dekatkan lah dan

jika ia dekat dengan ku,Kau permudahkan lah..."

take care semua..salam sayang..

.::surat untuk kayangan::.

Dear hubby,

its been such a bad day for me today..my boss had mis-interpret the shout i just posted in fb wall yesterday..she felt disappointed and very angry with the shout(instead of me)..but i swear dear,i don't mean those words for her.even though i have witness to stand for me,they couldn't say a thing when she throwing such a nasty words to me.because,you know.when she's mad nobody can try to defend unless when she's cool edi..

1 of my colleage ask me to make clear of the thing with her..but,you know me well rite?i'm not that kind of person who's really mind of what do people think of me..because for me,it's a waste to spend my time on someting i

eby,i really feeling unwell.i want ur big warm hug and calming chest to rely on..i want to cry so that u can cool me off..i love working here.but i don't find peacefullness in my doing.

even you are my hubby,but we rarely could see (walaupun sy xtau pn sape awak masa ni) to pamper each other...so that i hope my worry-some may get away as the letter reached you..i'll waiting for you to come back.

then kita pergi jalan2 and as life is JUST short,please come back soon ya sweetheart...

.::penangan merempit::.

kisah gaji ni pun da satu hal..aku xtau apa masalah diorang yang nak melambat2 kan paymet we all yang temporary and trainee ni..kalau gaji korang,lambat sehari pun da membebel kan.kitorg da 15 hari kot.bukan mintak duit ko pun.tu duit aku kot..haish..nak cerita kisah sakit ati ngan company ni,xtau bila abes menaip.huhu...so,cukup lah smpai sini je..

helmi (office-mate) nk pinjam external dvd player..seingat aku,benda tu ada kat umah kat Jln Kuching tu..dari pukul 6ptg smpai 7.30mlm aku geledah umah tu.bukan semata2 mencari brg tu je.siap belek2 lg brg2 masa study dulu..sgt rindu~

sbb da pnat sgt,aku pun keluar lpas maghrib..where should i head to?back home?my heart don't feel like to go back yet..i rode my motorcycle to kedai mamak Desa Baiduri..having my dinner there until 8.30pm..what am i doing there?actually,i miss him..

sblm balik,aku lalu depan umah dia.dia ada!!ding3~

tiba2 dtg idea.nak mintak camera lah.tunggu punya tunggu tetiba anak buah dia (along) lalu kat tmpat aku tunggu tu..so,aku mintak tlg dia carikan camera aku atas almari pak andak die.tp xjumpa.so,she asked me just to meet him and ask myself.she'll be there to accompany me if i'm afraid..but i refused to see him.no,not because of i hate him.but i'm afraid of being insult (hu?betul ke word ni?) for i still love him..i don't know why.

so,after telling his niece that i need the camera before i leave for Kelantan by the end of this month,i leave..and,i can see him staring at me from his house.and looks like he do wants to talk to me as well.(walaupun cam ayat perasan,biarlah.lalala~)

nak dijadikan cerita,aku pun balik ikut federal..tiba2 moto meragam.jadi cam masa aku nak g lepak ngan kawan kat TTDI Jaya 2minggu lepas..ngam2 sampai kat laluan moto tepi plaza tol 5posen tu,terus mati enjin..xmo idup2 da..so,tunda la masuk dalam area plaza tol tu..disebabkan aku xada sape2 yang aku knal kat situ EXCEPT him,aku pun call die.lucky me he wants to come..surprise me,he know the point and he fixed the lose plug.in just 20minutes,aku da boleh gerak balik subang.we chit-chatting all the way sampai kat mid valley sbb kat situ je ada tmpat utk dia nk u-turn..nak aje ckp,'i'll miss u'..haha..

smpai je kat pintu gerbang selangor kaler kuning tu,BANG!!!!!!!!

bunyi kaca pecah kuat gila kot.tau2 aku dah terduduk atas jalan yg kat laluan motor tu.i try to wake up myself.xboleh.aku nangis and ada org tlg aku berdiri kat tepi jalan.ramai gila kot org benti tolong.thanx Malaysians.kebetulan ada polis traffic lalu.diorang bagi tisu.pelik lak aku.buat apa?banyak gila.diorg kata ada darah mengalir dari tangan aku..huhu...banyak nye..terus pekak telinga aku.xdgr apa yg org ckp da..diorg tman aku g kat bus stop(safer place),kat dpan cket.in my head,he is the only person i can hook up on by now.i asked him to come again.mmg la dia ada bebel kata jauh la nak pusing balik and all.tp dia still datang.em,nape la aku salu sgt nyusahkan org..im sorry.i don't mean to do this.

bila dia smpai,dia pun tkejut tgk darah kat tgn aku.so,die smbung bebel lagi..dari td aku rasa sgt2 sakit.tp bila dia ada kat dpan mata,aku tgk dia je kot.lupe sgale sakit.die tgk lutut aku.sbb baju kurung aku tekoyak.dia kata kne jahit ni.aku dgr sipi2 je.and aku xlayan pun.aku tgk dia je..bila lagi.ni je kot masanye..=))

dia suh aku relax,ilangkan gabra dulu sblm we all gerak balik..kaki aku terseliuh kat lutut.tketar2 aku jalan..mngalir tiba2 air mata.dia lap air mata aku...sgt rindu dia~

tp leh kawal diri lagi..kita kan kawan.not more than that.and aku mintak tlg dr kau pun atas dasar kawan..dia teman aku balik.tgn aku cramp.yela,bayangkan luka kena angin kuat masa bawak motor..mengalir lagi la air mata aku kan..huhuuu..minah rempit da tersadung..inilah penangan merempit.moto pun tau pnat..sampai da ltih nk bawak aku kot.sbb tu dia tbaring atas jalan...ngeh3~

byk dia psan kat aku.yg aku dpt tgkap,msg die suruh aku hati2..ok,insya-Allah i will.tp kalau kat kawasan umah kau,maybe aku akan 'ter'lupa ur pesanan.kalau x,xadalah alasan for me to see u..walaupun sakit,sanggup kot...weeeeeeeeee~~

yang paling aku xpaham,nape aku hulur tgn salam ngan die?like we used to,in our old days??

and him!!nape die cam tunggu aku salam die??(ke,die sambut sbb xmo malukan aku?)tp die tunggu..nk je aku ckp,"jgn tinggal aku lagi boleh x??"tp control2..

dia kata:kalau ada pape,msg je kt inbox fb.aku dgn bengapnye tanye.'boleh ke sy msg awak?kite bkn friend kat fb pn.'..haha,bong0k.PM mmg la blh..adoi..die kata die mmg saje xnak block aku dr profile die..anyway,aku harap kau xbuat benda2 pelik yg menyebabkan aku meroyan xtentu arah occay..sbb,aku stalker kau yang tegar!walaupun im d one yg remove ko dr friend aku..ngee~

sampai arini(post day-3),luka aku still sakit..and lutut aku still x betul2 lagi..nak g mengurut..tapi kat mana nak carik..special for post-accident massage..i really need 1.badan rasa cam lebam2 and sakit..anyway,xtau nk classify happy ke,sedih for this incident..haha,sakit da Soleha ni..

tp tu xbermakna,aku xboleh pergi SACC mall utk jumpa Shahir..he's here for ABPBH roadtour.after zohor nt,insya-Allah aku gerak..Shahir,tunggu saye!!!

.::apa lagi ni Soleha::.

ada org tanye aku.

ni 1st time kerja ke?

aah..

nodding and I can read that he's surprised.

dalam pale aku:alien ke aku ni slama ni.umur da 23 baru nk start kije.tp,aku bru je grad.ok kot.lantak lah..

bila org tanye:

awak suka dok umah ke,suke jenjalan?

with my facial expression: dua2.i'll be any which depends on who's by my side.

soalan seterusnye:

mana best.study ke,kerja?

dua2 juge..lalala~

study best sbb tym class xlah strict mcm kerja.then blh pergi lepak bila2 masa saje sbb kawan2 always there.tp tym exam-sape suke?

kerja pulak best sbb thrill kot.its all on ur wise thinking decision.tp yg trase sgt sengal bila dah mcm robot.g kije 8-5.pstu balik.dok diam2.nk g jln,nk pergi mne n dgn sape?ada kengkawan yg ksian kn diri ni pun,duk jauh kot.nk lepak pn,xberbaloi.dak opis,diorg ada gak ajak join men futsal ngan badminton.aku yg xnak..ke aku yg xreti nk men-so-sial-kan diri..huh.

aku cuma rindu..but really cant live with it.moto hidup skrg:

""buatlah apa pun,asal happy.jgn mengelamun walau sminit.haha""

anyway,

not forgetting.ada la jugak org yg sudi nk tman aku spanjang 4bulan aku dok kat shah alam tu.thanx to Nu'man and Fakrul.malas nak pk apa korg pk.hihi..kalu korg tade,tau x mana moto aku bwk aku?jauh xingat wooo..

xlarat nak list tempat2 yg maha banyak smpai moto pn meletup cdi-nye..haha..thanx3~

smlm aku nek bas,balik klantan.

umi ngan abah kurang sehat.sedih sgt masa dengar suara umi dalam fon mintak aku balik.kalau blh,ari sabtu lagi die nak aku balik.tp ada wedding reception abg Adrian kt Bangi.balik pun da mlm.dgn ujan yg sgt lebat.sorry umie~

and yg happy nye.aku sampai je umah,diorg nampak segar sgt.tinggal batuk2 cket lagi.hope to be here for longer.but got to go back in shah alam.i promise u both my darling-ckup bulan 'kekti' balik semula neh..sedia berkhidmat.

sunyi sgt ke idup aku ni?zarif ada,kak iela ngan jojo pn ada.adek ngan amah ada.umie ngan abah pun salu call.Allah pun ada.apa lagi ni Soleha??

.::DA41::.

like it has been a decade for me working temporarily here in Glenmarie while waiting for vacant nursing post in government.it does gave me a headache.it is not because i don't find it beneficial,but the spec of work doesn't suit my preference best.

today i was called for an interview at PPUKM.as the title said:the interview was meant for DA41.

the session went very well.the juries (the dean,timbalan dean and my beloved HOD) are all kind enough.menyebabkan saya jadi sgt berharap!

but only a few will be chosen for the post.there are 9 of us.and as told,the post ONLY for those who attend with CGPA>3.5..and i'm just out of the criteria..

someone had remind me: don't lose hope.keep on building a new one.Allah has planned the best for you.ask Him to give you strength!

anyway,thanx for the nice chat(interview actually).i've learned another lesson.

Allah,bless me and only You,my guidance and the One that I can hook up on.

-kak Jenny,congrates for you.Hani,Arif,Zul,kak Fatin,Azwa,Husna and Kham-just love to be with all of you.like we used to-

.::nak bukak buku baru::.

Salam tahun baru and salam semangat baru uols..

Fuh2..banyak nye habuk kat sini..da berkulapuk..eeuwww!tu menandakan,sy da lama gila xdtg jenguk dashboard blog sy ni..bukan da malas nak berkongsi cerita.tp banyak sgt benda berlaku smpai nk capture dengan tulisan sgt2 lah xsempat..hanya org2 terdekat ngan saya je tahu every-single-thing that’ve happened to me.especially to my dear adek2 and lovely-umie..i heart all of u darlingssss~

As they say: “Let bygone be bygone”

He had chosen to break up and go on with our own path without attaching to each other parties. Ever again..and sy xada choice lain even though it hurt me like a thousand stabs of a sword in the heart.. it’s true, I’ll answer people that I’m tough enough and doesn’t care as he left. And the real truth is, just don’t ask me more or else, you have to attend me until I finish with the tears matter.done!

I really love into business. But like my umie said,I’m not that ‘kind of business’ person. Huh! With the stone-head and rebel-attitude of me says: just do what you wanna do. Otherwise, you’ll be in terrific regret..haha,macam kanak2 xcukup umur kan ckp macam ni. just imagine, there’s a giant genie popped up in front of your face and talk to you.karOt!

Sedar x sedar, sy da kerja kat Transwater,Glenmarie ni for almost 4months. Yela, it’s better for me rather than not doing something good kan– xproductive nye hidup.xsuke.xsuke. baru2 ni tibe2 dtg smangat nak start bisnes online. Ada la juga bcakap dgn beberapa org kawan.

Some of them said:
-Business can’t be parallel done with any other kind of job in the whole world. take it serious and be serious with it. Only then you’ll succeed.
-If it’s just an online business, plus I’ve just started with the thing, make it relax. Do it as a side –income first. Jangan benti kerja lagi.

What I think is:
-Betul. Sebab nak main ngan IT-thingy ni, sy bukan cekap sgt lagi. So, really takes longer time. Kalau kerja 8 to 5, memang xsempat lah nk update and pantau everything. Mmg la kat tempat kije ada access internet, tp xbest la pulak kan kalau buat kerja lain masa working hours. Haish,jujur la kononnye ni. Tp bukak jugak kan.lalala~tp,what if online bz ni xbg pape income?nak makan apa??haaaa..
-Statement kedua ni ada ramai jugak yg ckap kat sy. And agak betul jugak. Kalau pandai arrange masa semua, insya-Allah the bz will go smooth. The important thing is, I have to be tough enough! And the fact is, I was just tough enough occay~hehe..

peace!!

So, after this I won’t say much about my relationship-thingy until I recover and ready to share in here. Just support me whatever I do. And please remind me if I look like slipping from the right course..ur care is much appreciated!

-xoxo-

.::aurat::.

tadi baru tengok balik imam muda episod 5...tentang aurat.sgt buruk terasa diri ni..selalu berbangga dengan ilmu yang ada.tp susah sgt nak aplikasikan dlm kehidupan seharian..kita mengaku islam.tp amalan xikut pn apa yg Islam sarankan.kata sembahyang,tapi xmencegah pun dari melakukan dosa.baru2 ni da sakitkan hati abah..kekti mintak maaf sgt.walaupun kekti xtau apa puncanya,kekti mintak maaf...kata mengaji Quran,tp apa yg ada dalam Quran xtau apa pun.kononnya sekolah agama dulu,tp bila suruh berbahas semua guna pendapat logik sendiri..

berbalik pd episod imam muda td tu,diorg kupas isu aurat..isu aurat ni mmg sgt sensitif..ms sekolah dulu da diajar,aurat perempuan adalah seluruh badannya kecuali wajahnya dan 2tapak tangan shj...bukan dgn lelaki bukan muhrim je,sama la dengan kawan2 yang bukan Islam pn..

ramai org sekarang ni,pakai tudung da perasan kuat sgt imannya.bak kata sorg peserta imam muda tu,kita bukan menuup aurat,kita da banyak bungkus aurat..betul jugak tu..tp mereka yg pakai tudung ni lebih mudah untuk terima hidayah Allah,memperbaiki kelemahan diri,insyaAllah..malah ada antara kita yg kata:'walaupun sy xpakai tudung,tp hati sy baik"...=))ikikiki

apa punya ayat la nak defend diri sendiri...

dari sahabat, Saiyidina Ali r.a. berkata:

serendah2 ilmu adalah apa yang dikeluarkan oleh mulut,

dan setinggi ilmu adalah apa yang dizahirkan oleh anggota badan...

apa2 pun sy tau sy sendiri masih byk lagi kekurangan dan keburukan.harap2 masa yg free sekarang ni,dapat dimanfaatkan sepenuhnya..ameen..